It’s been a hot minute since I last published here. Life has been a whirlwind lately. From moving back home to starting a new job, you could say 2021 continues to be nothing short of life changing experiences. But let‘s start from the beginning.
It was around my birthday this year that I made the decision to finally take matters into my own hands and move our family back to Berlin. Waiting on my boyfriend just didn‘t cut it anymore. He had too much of a hard time leaving his well-earned position behind. It also didn‘t feel right to put the entire pressure on him. With him being the sole breadwinner and all.
William was slowly approaching the 5 months mark, so I knew he would soon become less dependend on me. Thus, I decided to move back to Berlin in September as I had 5 years ago to Munich. Yes, it was already the end of August but I was certain that it would work out. I felt like an athlete visualizing winning my next competition. Ready, set, strike!
And that’s exactly how it happend. The week after my birthday (I was just back home in Munich), my mom called me and told me that my cousin was looking for someone to help her organize and assist in her law firm. My Virgo heart was doing a flip inside. Who could be better for this job than me!
And that‘s how I found myself on the road the first Monday of September. The car packed with some clothes and a whole lot of baby stuff. Leaving Roman behind was surely not easy and you can imagine that there were definitely some tears shed. Hindsight, it was the best decision ever though! Putting on proper clothes and leaving the house in the morning, I felt a little bit like myself again!
Don‘t get me wrong. I love being a mom but being a fulltime stay-at-home mom is just not the job of my dreams. I need to get out. I need to have the feeling of productivity.
The first few days the mom guilt was surely real. But then I realized how much of a better mom I’m to William now. The minute I get home, he receives my full attention. Something that didn‘t really happen before as I was so busy staying on top of all the chores at home. He is also way calmer now. And he loves spending time with my parents
But I also want to be real: life is a lot more stressful now. Between driving an hour to work, pumping, taking care of my child, finding time to connect with Roman, and of course helping my mom around the house, I barely find time for myself. I feel constantly in a rush. Something I try to reduce now.
With only so much time on your hands, you find shortcuts. Like pumping on the train which I felt a hella lot uncomfortable at first. Or writing this blog post on my phone on my way to work in the morning. You learn to use time more preciously.
The only thing I haven’t quite found time yet is my workouts. Which bothers me a lot. When I come home in the afternoon, I either play with William or I need to take care of some stuff. After he has gone to bed, we either have dinner or I‘m too tired lift a finger anymore. Now with the darker season, waking up even earlier is also quite hard. And then life with a baby is always unpredictable. Last week, William came down with a cold and was awake every hour in the night. So yeah, there is that too.
I‘m still in awe at what my body is capable of doing. It may be the reward of looking at your bank account at the end of the month and seeing black instead of red numbers there. It may also be the amazing feeling of being of use. And of course it‘s pure happiness spreading through my body when I look into my child‘s laughing face.
Yes, life as a (working) mom is tough but I wouldn‘t want to have it any other a way.
And in case if you are wondering: Roman did finally quit his job and has already a different position in sight. Something that offers him exactly what he wanted. He will follow us in January. Just as I predicted.
Manifestation is a thing y‘all! You just have to put your mind to it. Like the athlete visualizing the finish line.