„The mind can’t differentiate between imagination & reality.” Words that stuck to me the most after yesterday’s morning meditation held by my dear friend, Lara, at the Munich coworking space MATES. The topic discussed was how your mind creates your reality.
To demonstrate what she meant, she made us close our eyes and imagine biting into a lemon. Her description was so vivid that I could literally feel the sour taste on my tongue. Yes, our mind really can’t tell the difference between fiction and reality. It’s crazy to think how much of an impact our thoughts have on us.
After the session I stuck around for a little bit longer and talked to one of the employees at the coworking space. In the midst of discussing the pros and cons of self-employment, I realized something.
Remembering what I had just learned in meditation, I was the one who had created my reality. Everything I went through the last three years of getting my activewear line off the ground, was – indeed – created by me.
Negative beliefs will only attract more negativity into your life
Let me explain:
When I started, I had this nagging feeling inside of me that no one would take me serious in the fashion or in the business world in general because a) I had no prior experience doing business of any kind and b) I had no proper education in fashion. I had this constant fear that people would sense my lack of knowledge and take advantage of me.
To no surprise, that’s exactly what happened! All the time! And not only with regard to my business but also in other areas in my life. Every negative belief I had, would manifest in reality.
Like, for example, when I was looking for a job to support myself in the beginning while building my business. I decided to apply for a trainer position at a gym. I had received my fitness trainer certificate a few months ago and thought it would be great to get out of the house and gain some more knowledge in a field I was already interested in.
Also, to be honest, I just wanted something where I didn’t sit at a desk all day long.
I self-sabotaged myself
Again, I was filled with insecurities to the brim. This mean little voice inside my head kept on telling me that I didn’t go to school to study Health Science or Exercise Physiology. So, who was I to tell people how to train or lose weight?
Surprisingly, I would get invites for interviews. They all went fine. I always came out with a good feeling. But in the end, they either didn’t get back to me at all or they declined, Not exactly adding to my already low self-esteem.
The mean voice in my head certainly loved all of that as it had predicted this outcome upfront: If they don’t even take you at a gym, why would they take you in more serious jobs. (A notion that’s total bullshit. No job is superior over another. Each and every one requires its own set of skills.)
I had enough of the constant negative self talk and deep down I knew that I valuable things to offer. So, I did a little self-test. What if I would go in and tell myself that I’m the best candidate for this position? I would lack experience, yes, true. But I would bring lots of empathy instead. I’m amazing with people, a character trait that is very important in the service industry. I also have a passion for health and fitness and have been working out for as long as I can remember. I could do that!
Going in for an interview the next time, that’s all I focused on.
Trust yourself and everyone else will do the same
And you know what? It worked! Not only once, but twice! It was surprising how much a difference it makes when you show up with a healthy portion of self-esteem. Giving myself a little pep talk beforehand and having this deep trust that everything that is right for me will come with ease, was all I needed to succeed.
I’ve always been looking for praise from the outside. Now I realize that no matter how much praise I got, I was never satisfied, always craving more. Once I started praising myself and looking at my accomplishments with pride (even if they may look different from anybody else’s), that’s when my world started to change.
I’m still a work in progress, though. There are days when I’m super confident and on others my anxiety is through the roof. I’m still testing my way through all the different coping mechanisms out there. Some days yoga and meditation will help, some days a good deep stretch will do wonders, and then on some days, I just need to listen to a good wellness podcast or take stroll in nature.
No one has figured it all out
In the end, I try to remind myself that I’m not alone and that we all are just figuring things out.
This person over there that seems to have it all? You’d be surprised what you see when you lift the curtain.
We are all craving security in a world that seems to become increasingly insecure. So, it’s important that no matter how hard things might seem to keep lightness in your heart. And seeing everything with humor definitely helps, too.
Remember, you are the creator of your reality!Madeleine Stanev
What are your thoughts? Let’s chat in the comments or slide in my DM’s @madeleinestanev And don’t forget to share this post with someone who needs to hear this today!