This last week, all my insecurities showed up in my dreams. It was like my subconscious was pushing me to work on them and tell my ego to finally take a back seat.
I don’t know about you but intense dreaming always greatly impacts my emotional state this day. So I was already feeling a little clouded when I opened Instagram and saw a new comment on my story post showing the first rose bud blooming in my backyard. I had captioned it: “The first rose bud. And that in January. The magic of nature.” The comment read: “The magic of global warming. The magic of nature… destruction…”.
I felt offended right away. Like I did something wrong. Anger and shame rose up inside of me. For a mere second I wanted to apologize or answer some other inferior bullshit. But then I caught myself. Why shouldn’t I stand up for my own beliefs? Why always feel like I had to hide behind a curtain?
All we know is that we know nothing
I just don’t buy into the concept of climate change. We human beings always think we know everything and have everything figured out. The truth is, we know nothing!
Mother Nature is so powerful. I always say ‘Nature is the boss.’ Don’t you think if she wanted to shut down and kill us all, she would have done so by now? Yes, you could argue this is test to see if we prove ourselves worthy and turn the ship around before it crashes.
But climate shifts have existed long before humans inhabited this planet. Entire species became extinct by extreme climate matters (dinosaurs, anyone?!). Additionally, why were we given the knowledge of building cars and use resources for production if it wasn’t serving us nor enhancing our growth?
Ok, got a little distracted here. Let’s get back to what I actually wanted to talk about.
I want to talk about how I was triggered (at least for a mere second) by two letters in this person’s name: DR., standing for doctor. For just a second I minimized myself again and thought ‘This person is a doctor, he/she is way smarter than you, he/she knows what’s right or not.’
You are more than a human label
Referring back to the beginning, not even the smartest person (again, defined by human standards) knows anything at all, much less the truth. And these labels that we are giving people to set them apart from everybody else, to make them something special, this is just the ego talking.
Intelligence or any other characteristic trait is not determined by labels.
That’s what I realized in exactly the two seconds I read this comment and thought about my response. It finally clicked how I had played small for so long. How I had thought so less of myself because I didn’t have any of the desired societal labels (maybe deep down I wanted them more than I admitted).
I’m not a doctor (I hated university so much, I could not have spend an additional 5 years there to do scientific work). I’m not a successful entrepreneur (yet). I’ve never been rewarded for any outstanding talents like famous violin players or athletes.
This morning, I realized that all of this doesn’t matter. That all of these are just labels that say nothing about us or our gifts. I work for myself and I love working for myself. It’s the only way of working I could have ever see myself doing.
Leading up to today, I had constantly beaten myself up because I had not yet reached the level of what society deems to be a successful entrepreneur. I was not yet mentioned on the Forbes 30 under 30 list or the Top 10 Influential People of year X. And I thought that this made me a failure. That something was wrong with me. That I didn’t work hard enough or that I was just not smart enough to compete with the elite.
You can control the ego or let it be controlled by you
What does this even mean? Being part of the elite? This is the ego, the dominant male energy that tries to crush you and to keep you small. Don’t get me wrong. The ego is not something bad per se and male energy is something we totally need in our life. In fact, it’s quite beneficial. If used in moderation.
The ego pushes you outside your comfort zone by telling you that you need this or that to feel good about yourself. A healthy portion of ego ushers you to not stand still but constantly develop and grow.
If taken too seriously, though, that’s when the destructive side of the ego kicks in. That’s when you start denying your unique gifts and, worst case, go down the rabbit hole.
It’s no coincidence that more and more people are suffering from mental illness. It’s the result of making our egos the driver of our ship, to let it determine our path. We shouldn’t chase after things that are not meant for us but instead let life guide us to where we are supposed to go. Life is meant to be in flow.
Just like nature. Everything underlies a universal law. Everything has its order. The moment we decide to go against this order, is when we start to get sick.
Your intuition is the only guide you need
We have this deep voice of guidance, this deep inner knowing inside of us. Some may call it intuition, gut feeling or more spiritually accessing the line through the Akashic records, channeling or connecting to ghosts or angels. No matter how you call it, everybody has it.
But being so tightly chained to the ego, we lost the ability to listen. We trust other people more than we trust ourselves. The internet has opened us up to an entire world of other opinions. I know that many see this as a threat to their traditional belief of how knowledge and expertise is shared. Everyone can be an expert on this or that topic now.
I don’t see it this way. I rather find it an amazing tool for growth. Because it gives us access to a wider range of knowledge. Learning from other people or taking in different opinions is amazing and vital for our development. But if not consumed moderately, it adds to the dilution of our inner guidance.
We have to learn to set boundaries. Boundaries not fences. I’m not talking about shutting us off from the outside world and only adhering to our own beliefs. We can only grow as a collective (which reminds me of the quote by Pablo Picasso “Lesser artists borrow, great artists steal.” – meaning that we take established principles and refine them).
I’m talking about being so confidence in our being that we can look at other opinions with the right level of objectivity. And to ultimately take the pieces that align with us and get rid of the pieces that don’t.
The planet heals when we heal
It’s when we start listening again and living our life accordingly that we see healing and transformation happening, not only in ourselves but also in the world as a whole.
“Mother is going through a cycle and doing what she needs to do to cleanse and to be reborn. But it is those humans, the collective, who are living on this planet that are sick. We are disconnected from each other; we are disconnected from ourselves. […] The more you heal within, the more you take care of your physical body, the body that you chose to live in in this human experience. Take care of your physical body and treat it like you would treat the planet.”Ahley Woods
In the end, the ego dominance and the environmental changes are intertwined.
It doesn’t matter if you are spiritual (the feeling of more and more destructive energy floating around) or rational (climate change will destroy our planet if we don’t act now), everyone is talking about us being in the end stages of life on the planet as we know it.
I’m not really someone who is buying into this entire concept of negativism and dooming our future. I more believe that we are on the brink of a bright new beginning if we treat ourselves with the right level of respect. Only then we are beneficial for the collective.
This week, I will allow myself to trust myself. Realize the ego talking and observe what happens when I, for once, don’t listen to it but my intuition instead.
I will see it as an experiment and through the eyes of a kid, being curious and eager to test everything out.
Because something is for sure:
Does this resonate with you? As always, sharing is caring!
UPDATE: 2020 clearly pushed us to heal faster. A few weeks after I wrote this post, COVID-19 hit the world with a bang. We were forced to retreat inside our homes and to stay away from friends and family. Crazy times but a very obvious signal to go inward and fix what’s broken. May we all come out stronger, happier and healthier on the other side!